Thursday, August 23, 2012

Feeling so down

 Hello fellow bloggers. Lately my creative mood hasn't been on the brightest level; I've been feeling really down ever since my best friend stopped talking to me, finally giving me an answer to why as of two weeks ago.

This news has become a very hard impact on my creative spirit, resulting in a mood to make darker pictures expressing internal emotions. It's not that I haven't been creating, I just haven't had much motivation to create anything bright and happy, or keep journal records as often. 

To relieve pressure, and still express myself, I've managed to make two digital images in the past three days, and also a poem expressing my feelings.

In the above picture, the darkened figure is crying from memories that have slowly been lost. All the sparkling strands flowing from her head to hand, represent the beautiful memories of past happiness, leaving her mind. As she watches them fade into the air, she cries, wishing that the happiness she knew still existed....but alas, all is gone. 

I made this image just today, expressing my feelings of hollowness and lack of desire. The hollow heart shaped hole in the woman's chest represents the lack of desire, love, hope, and passion. A very simplistic image that's purely for expressing a mood.

Both images represent my feelings, a result of my friend being so thoughtless on my behalf. I must say that doing art, expressing yourself regardless of mood, is a great way to reach for the possibility of a brighter tomorrow.

Now as for my poem.... to help it make more sense I'll tell you why I wrote it. I was expressing my feelings towards my friends action of ditching me out of pain. You see, she stopped talking to me because it hurts for her to remember what was and no longer is; so instead of considering how hurt I've been from it too, she ran from me to save herself.

Now for the poem

Why Run?

What should one do when their heart does yearn
For what they love and knew, but can not earn?

When one remembers, and takes memory in pain
What, might I ask, does it help them gain?

To run from your memories is all you can do,
But what of the person who still thinks of you?

Do you ever question what your running has done?
Did you ever consider you'd be hurting someone?

In the end the person with memories like yours
Remembers you always, but is left with life's sores.

They understand your suffering and pain,
And while you run, they wait all the same.

But as they wait, their heart is aching,
So much in fact it's truly breaking.

On nights their soul is truly pleading
And all they want is a simple greeting,
You run from their tears and continue
Your fleeing, while the one you abandon
Is dieing and bleeding.

Is this what life has brought you to?
The choice to run and forget who you knew?

The person who loves you is dieing inside
And while they grow darker, you run and hide.

This in itself is wrong as an action
And shows in a way, that your love is a fraction

Of what your friend feels for you
But you won't turn back, no matter what they do.

For you fail to remember what pain your friend feels,
And your friend only knows that true love is what heals.

Yet you ignore your dieing friend's plea,
And continue your running to set yourself free.

Why is it then, you can not see, what you've done while running from me?
Leaving your friend in deep misery, far stronger than any stormy sea.

I shared this poem on my Deviant Art account too, so if you're interested to see it on that site, here's the link  

Also, here's a song that I've been listening to, and I feel it fits my art pieces above.

There's what's been going on in the "studio" and I hope to get back on a better track eventually. Till then happy blogging, enjoy. 

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